How to Recognize & Address Addiction in University Students: A Parent’s Guide

When a child is living away from home, recognizing the subtle early signs of addiction can be difficult to define. But if addressed early, these signs can be real lifesavers. Money is almost always an issue for young people, especially when they’re away at school and living on a tight budget. So, when you notice their spending habits changing without a clear or authentic reason, trust your instincts.

As parents, if you’re helping pay the bills, you’re entitled to ask questions. However, it can be difficult to balance the need for information with your child’s growing desire for independence. It’s a tough spot—asking for more information can sometimes feel like a lack of trust, even when you’re only looking out for their well-being.

Starting conversations about behavior and addiction is never easy, but as a parent, it’s crucial. Ultimately, it’s your child’s responsibility to take the first step toward help. My job as a coach is to make that process as easy and comfortable as possible for your child. This blog offers suggestions for how you can encourage your child to reach out for support.

3 Warning Signs of Addiction in University Students

Recognizing the early signs of addiction in your child can be challenging, especially when they’re living away from home. As parents, it’s easy to dismiss changes because of a busy schedule, school pressure, or just the growing pains of becoming an adult. But sometimes, these changes may be early signs of deeper issues. Here are three key signs to watch for:

Behavioral Red Flags: Anger, Mood Swings & Irritability

When your child starts to display irritability or anger over things they usually wouldn’t get upset about, it’s time to take notice. For example, a family I worked with had regular Zoom sessions where their son would update them on his life. However, these sessions started to be postponed, and at first, the parents thought it was just a busy school schedule. But soon, they noticed his patience with his siblings was diminishing. He was quick to anger over things that would normally roll off his back. The change in his temperament didn’t seem right, and that’s when they decided to dig deeper. Behavioral changes like this, especially if they are out of character for your child, are often a signal that something is wrong—whether it’s addiction or another underlying issue.

Academic Struggles & Mental Health: A Hidden Sign of Addiction?

When your child starts to slip in their academic performance, it can be a sign that something is affecting their mental and emotional state. With one family I worked with, their son’s grades started to decline sharply. This had never been an issue before—he was usually a strong student, focused and motivated. The parents were initially unsure of what was going on, but they suspected something might be wrong. They learned that he was struggling with his social life, and despite his busy school schedule, there were other emotional factors at play. Grades are a good reflection of how a student is coping with external pressures, and when those start to slip, it’s time for parents to step in and find out why.

Social Withdrawal & Loss of Interest: Is It Addiction?

Addiction often consumes the space where activities, hobbies, and social connections should thrive. In another case, the parents of a young woman noticed a significant shift in her interests. Their daughter, who once enjoyed regular hiking trips with friends, stopped sending the usual pictures and updates. Initially, they attributed it to a busy school schedule, but after speaking with one of her friends back home, they learned that communication between the two had slowed as well. When someone starts to withdraw from things that once brought them joy, such as a favorite hobby or socializing with friends, it’s important to assess what might be causing the withdrawal. Addiction often fills the void that should be filled by positive, engaging activities, making it crucial to recognize this change early.

Why These Signs Matter

These early signs often appear gradual and can be easy to overlook. Parents may think it’s just a phase, or that it’s related to the pressures of school and transitioning into adulthood. However, paying attention to these behaviors and intervening early can make a significant difference in your child’s well-being. If you notice a pattern of behavioral changes, academic struggles, or emotional withdrawal, trust your instincts. It’s better to start a conversation early and get the help your child may need than to wait until things escalate.

How Parents Can Talk to Their University Student About Addiction

1. Express Care, Not Judgment

   Start by saying, “I’ve noticed a few things lately that have me concerned, and I want to make sure you’re okay. Can we talk about it?”

   
   

   This approach demonstrates concern without emphasizing behavior, thereby fostering a non-defensive environment for your child to communicate openly.

   
   

2. Focus on Observing Changes, Not Accusations

   Instead of saying, “You’ve been drinking too much,” try, “I’ve noticed you seem tired and distant lately, and I’m wondering if something’s going on. I’m here to listen if you want to talk.”

   
   

   This approach is about showing concern for their well-being and creating a safer environment for a more honest conversation.

   
   

3. Give Them Space to Respond in Their Own Time

   If your child says, “I don’t need help” or “I’m fine,” respond with, “I understand that you don’t want to talk about it right now, but I’m here when you’re ready. Just know that I care about you.”

This reassures them that the conversation is open, but it respects their timing and gives them the space they need to come around.

A Few Things to Keep in Mind:

• Offer Help Without Pressuring

Remind your child of the qualities that make them capable of facing challenges. For example, you might say, “You’ve always been someone who takes things seriously, and I know you care about your future. I believe in you, and I know you can get through this.”

This helps them connect their actions with their values and desire for a better future.

Next Steps: Moving Forward Together

Starting the conversation with your child about addiction can be daunting. But by focusing on empathy, patience, and offering non-judgmental support, you can help open the door to healing. It's about showing them you're there—without forcing the issue. Trust your instincts, and give your child the space they need to come to you when they’re ready.

I understand the frustration and worry that can arise when you see your child struggling. The sleepless nights, the questioning of your parenting, the self-blame—it’s all too familiar. That’s why I offer a free consultation for parents who need guidance. Whether you're trying to navigate difficult conversations, set healthy boundaries, or simply find the right next step, I’m here to help.

If you’re looking for practical strategies and ongoing support, visit my Parent Support page to learn how I work with families to build confidence and clarity in these challenging moments. Or, if your child is open to the idea of support, they can explore Recovery Coaching as a flexible, one-on-one option for moving forward.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. Let’s take the first step together.